Last day of school.... What, what??

Wowzers! Where in the world did this year go? I cannot believe my baby girl is now a FIRST grader. Good grief. Hold on I have to wipe my tears.... AGAIN. This is truly mind boggling. I am just starting to get the hang of it. Bus tag- check. Back pack- check. Thursday library day-check. And WHAMO end of the year. I am not sure why I am so emotional about this. For the last week I have been saying to Abby, "this is the 3rd to last breakfast as a kindergartner", "this is the last day I will be doing your hair as a kindergartner." She was starting to get annoyed. But, I. just. cant. help. it. Each morning when the girls get up, they give me a big squeeze hug while we sing "Good morning God! This is your day! I am your child, show me your way!" and every morning I whisper in their ear: demanding they stop growing. I want to freeze them. Independent yet still dependant. I am mom, and I am still cool! I am still allowed to cuddle with them before bed. I am still allowed to dress them in clothes I deem appropriate. (well, most of the time, unless you know my Lily... THAT my friends is a whole new post.) Their daddy is still the most important man in their lives. Oye! (dabbing tears)


I am so impressed with my "Tootie", (another reason I want to freeze her... she still lets me call her that!) she has grown so much over this past year.


Truth is, I cannot stop time. God knows I try, and every day just slips by like sand through my fingers. But I am so JAZZED to see what the Lord has in store for our girls, for our family. That is the absolute coolest thing about *letting* my girls grow up- they accomplish way more than I could ever dream. They are remarkable girls, and with God's help, will become remarkable young women.

Mom Things I Suck At....

Day after day, insecurities swarm my body, as I realize the magnitude of raising 2 girls in this world. I rely on God's grace, my girls forgiveness and the patience of my husband. I strive to be the best mom and wife I can be: doing laundry, taking kids to and fro, working part time, making dinner, packing lunches, learning to french braid, paying bills, reading with the girls, helping with homework, and as every mom knows, the list is absolutely endless.

This post comes from a conversation Abby and I had on the way home from school the other day.
Abby: Mom, look what Mrs. Bekuis sent home with me today?
Me: Oh, what is that?
Abby: Well, all my papers are in a plastic bag because we forgot my folder.
Me: Oh shucks! Its on top of the microwave.
Abby: (passing a paper to the front seat)
Me: (reading said paper) "Opps, Abby forgot her library book!"
Me: Well, Abby, at least mommy remembered your shoes today, so you didn't have to wear your boots like yesterday!
Abby: It's ok mom, I told Mrs. Bekuis you are not good at remembering things.
Me: (saying to myself) I DO suck at remembering things!

I try to cut myself some slack... she is my first child in school, I have so much to learn. Lily (and any kids thereafter) will have life much easier in school. I was the first born, I know that first borns are the "trial run" kids. I am ok with that... and I think Abby will be just fine.

So in honor of Dave Letterman, (and my 10 minute reflective drive home from school) here are the:

Top 10 "MOM THINGS" I SUCK AT:
10- Remembering shoes, folders and library books for school.
9- Preparing ahead for dinner
8- keeping a clean car (we could all survive for a week on the "things" in the van)
7- taking pictures of the kids doing everyday life
6- doing the girls hair (well, Abby's since she is the only one that has any)
5- dealing with defiance and downright disobedience. (its so much easier just to give them their 3rd fruit snack package before 9am)
4-Making the kids sit at the table to eat ANY meal to completion.
3- keeping on top of laundry so that I do not have to dig through clean clothes to find a pair of tights for church.
2- playing out in the snow with the kids! PS. I HATE being cold, and I will find any and all excuses to pawn snow time off on daddy.
1- blogging on a regular basis.

Looking at this list it is easy to add on 100 more shortcomings.... but I am going to choose to rejoice the:

TOP TEN "MOM THINGS" I ROCK AT:
10- cuddling, reading, rocking
9- nightly back scratches
8- writing "I love you! Have a great day!" on napkins in Abby lunch box.
7- playing Uno, Trouble, Candy Land, Go Fish or Hula Hooping on the wii
6-making chocolate milk
5- graciously watching Toy Story 3 for the 1.5 millionth time
4- painting tiny toe nails
3- carrying a 5 year old and a two year old (one on each hip) down the stairs each morning
2- making the bathtub the perfect temperature
1- Loving those girls with all my heart.

Suppose I can convince Abby to tell her teacher any of THOSE things??? Probably not, but I am sure when she is an adult and raising her own kids, she will lay with them each night and scratch their back and tell them, "My mommy used to give me the best back scratches!"

Fashion Forward Fridays

Because Friday is ALWAYS my day off.... I allow the girls to pick out their clothes. Really! Whatever they want. If I have to go out and run errands, well then, they get to wear WHATEVER they pick out. This is the one day where I do not suggest, direct, or demand what articles of clothing they wear. They love it, and frankly, so do I. I have a hard enough time getting myself dressed. This takes the stress off. After the past 3 or 4 weeks, seeing the creativity (and obviously color blindness), I decided to document the interesting fashion forward outfits my little divas pick out. They typically try to pick something that is similar to the other, such as: Skirt with leggings or both with a short sleeve shirt. I love to listen to them on the monitor bustling back and forth from each others room coordinating outfits! Can you imagine when they are 14 and 16? Eeeek!

So without further ado...... drum roll please!

Where O Where Have I Been??

Last night, I had the pleasure of gathering with some of my friends! It was great, catching up on life, hearing how everyone's kids are growing. I am blessed with some great friendships. And it was there that I was put under some serious pressure to start up my blog again ANDto get started on the procreation of our third child. Since we have no itention of the latter, I better get going on this blog! :)

I have been missing in action for the same reason I started up again. The pressure.... I think it is the pressure. Of saying something grand, profound, funny or enlightening. As a full time wife and mom, part-time employee and self employed jewelery lady, there is not too much grand, profound, funny or enlightening that happens in my everyday life. As we speak, the girls are playing together so nicely, putting together a puzzle. This can change in a second. Abby already served an 8 minute time out for knocking her sister off the couch (intentionally) and then sticking her tongue out at me and waving her head back and forth like a sassy teenager you want to smack upside the head. Where does she get this?

To catch up on life since the last post over a year ago... (seriously it has been that long?)

Abby is in kindergarten at ZPS and LOVES it. Everyday she comes home and tells me something new she learned and is eager to continue the lesson at home. Every word has another that rhymes, every letter has a sound, every word needs to be spelled. She is happiest when she is learning! I love that and I hope it continues... even at 33, I drive through the campus of Hope College and dream about my college days.... ahhh, that was fun!

I was happy has a clam when Abby told me she wanted to play soccer. YES! I was gonna be a soccer mom! I was jazzed. After growing up playing soccer my entire life, I was excited for her and I to do this together! Practically every Saturday morning it was cold and rainy... Abby was not to eager to play in these conditions. But she *suffered* through all in the name of donuts and juice boxes. She's on the fence for next year... I guess we will wait and see!

She is still strong willed and tests us whenever she can. I have tried to embrace it.... one day it will be to her advantage. No boy will tell her what to do. She will not follow the crowd. SHE WILL BE INDEPENDENT! Until then, I am on my knees daily asking for the Lord's provision, guidance and grace. And I gladly receive His gifts!

Lily Grace. Where do I begin? She is at such a great age. 2 1/2. She is her father's daughter, in so many ways. She is funny, easily disciplined, lover of all things animals. She loves to read, loves to talk, loves to be silly. Nobody compares to her daddy. The sun rises and sets with him. Ryan is the one to put her to bed and every morning, she asks "Daddy home?"

She is a people pleaser. As we speak she is on an adventure to get Abby a Kleenex, because she was threatened with with a time out from Abby. I'm pretending I didn't hear the threat... Is that wrong? She is in daycare 3 days a week with a wonderful provider. Lily loves her.... I mean, really LOVES her. And I love THAT! She has made some great friends at Amy's house and I love to hear in her words (and admire her facial expressions) when she tells me about her day. She does crafts, sings songs, goes on adventures to the mall, farmers market, or to Mt. Peek-a-boo or whatever its called. Why do they pick such a weird name??? I mean really, how about Mt. Holland or Mt. Macatawa or something that I can remember? I digress.

We have been waiting patiently for some hair on Lily's head, we have been able to take the "mullet" part of her hair and put that in pigtails, but as you can see from the picture the top still needs some help. Poor girl!

I'm going to do my best to keep yall abreast of the Habers happenings.... My family is the bees knees and they deserve the spotlight.

Dutch Village and other summer escapades!

Since Abby has been out of school our lives seem to be crazier than ever... we are running here, running there, spending $12 ADMISSION at Dutch Village! (Don't even get me started, I am still salty I let Abby talk me into that one). We have been to the beach, to Outdoor Discover Center, Timbertown, picnics, camping trips, parks, walks, swims in the pool, back yard escapades, the list is certainly endless and not until this VERY moment have I had both kids sleeping for a little nap! I know, I should be sneaking some quite time myself, or perhaps fold the laundry that has been on my bed and on my floor 2 times over the past 2 days.... (which by the way is now dirty again, because it has intertwined with Ryan's dirty clothes that are also on the floor.)

I can sum up the past month in a few short sentences. Abby vs. bottle of powder vs. Lily's dresser (and everything in it). Second time reading Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson since Abby has been born.

PS. I would have posted a picture but there was nothing to see but a white cloud of powder. And I am so NOT kidding!

Why do I feel like I am falling short?

I have been struggling internally with just about every aspect of my life lately. Where does this come from? Growing up I was involved in sports and understood the value of winning, but also new the goodness that come from being not the loser, but the SECOND WINNER. It was ok. I would just learn and move on, try to do better, but really never let it consume my daily life. Even in college when I BOMBED an AP Anatomy class... I chalked it up to a good experience and went in full boar next semester. And even in looking back into the 6 years I have been a wife, I have always felt like I have done a respectable job. Something to be proud of.... But when Abby was born right away I felt the inadequacy. We were not good at nursing.... I had every intention of sticking that girl right on the boob and it would be magical. I would provide her ALL her nutrients for the first year of her life. What an honor, what a responsibility! But that is not how it happened. Even in the hospital I would start to cry when she would cry, because I knew that meant she was hungry. My boobs hurt! I had mastitis 3 times during the first 2 months of her life, she had thrush. Nursing was not in the cards for us. "Breast milk is best!" and now I was not providing the best for my child. Failure numero uno!

You have all seen first hand (or at least read in my blog) about my first born child. She is a spirited little thing. She will not let anything get in the way of what she wants. She wants something, she is going to try to get it. No matter the cost! Whether it is ice cream for breakfast, to play outside when it is thunder storming, or get out of the house to play in my car.... the girl plumb tuckers me out most days. She is relentless in her pursuits. These qualities that are hard to parent will be her biggest asset as an adult.... but in the meantime, the Lord has entrusted her to me and we must guide her to be the best that she can be. Many times I am at a loss on what to do.... how to handle any given situation. Some days I feel I am not strong enough to set the limits and stick to them.... I don't want to fail her.

Lily (so far) is a different child. She aims to please. We say no, she listens. She is a happy little ham bone. She likes to make people laugh and has her dad's fun loving personality. Yeah! We are on the right track... although the doctors say she is too small. She doesn't weigh enough. She has been listed (in doctors terms) as failure to thrive. We have done the blood work, we have met with the dietitian, we have put her on a high fat diet. (Lucky girl, gets ice cream 3 times a day!) But as a mom, you immediately revert back to the first 12 months of her life.... did I not nurse her enough? I am happy to report that Lily and I made it 1 full year of nursing... YIPPEE! Did I not give her adequate nutrition. In my heart of hearts, I know I did and she has just been blessed with an awesome metabolism like the rest of my siblings. But the doctors make you feel otherwise...

I think I have been hard on myself because I know I cannot go back. I don't want to strive for perfection but rather for the best that I can be as a parent, because I know that I cannot take these days back. I am molding these kids for the rest of their life. My influence will determine the course they take in life. Will they follow the Lord? Will they marry strong Christian men? Will they care about others? Will they be happy in life?

Some other areas that are on my "fall short" list: housekeeping, laundry, my home based business, exercise, bible reading, blogging, keeping up with 9 siblings scattered throughout the US, keeping the sippy cups from rotting under the seats in the van.....I feel like the list goes on and on. I cannot give full attention to any one thing.

Who sets these standards that I am trying to achieve? No place in the bible does it say anything about laundry or blogging.... The bible is my "Life Manual".... I must keep my eyes on the Lord. "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he had made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." Psalm 145 :13-14

I love that! Every time I fall (which is every minute or every day) the Lord lifts me up when I ask.

Here is my devotion for this morning:

Decide to be positive!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about these things. Philippians 4:8

Negative people don't enjoy life. Viewing each day with positive expectations is one of the key principles to godly happiness. We act on what we believe, so positive thoughts cause positive actions. If you want a positive life, begin thinking positive thoughts. It is easy to do so if you read the Word and meditate on all that God wants to do for you through you. Get alone today, and think about all the good, positive things God has done for you in the past, and all He had planned for you in the future.

Take some time to reflect on God goodness! You will be richly rewarded!

With that said.... Here are a few things that the Lord has richly rewarded me with!

A spirited little girl that learned so much at preschool this year!

A grandma that loves to fish with Abby!

Friends that love your kids like their own!

My future son-in-law! Aren't they ADORABLE!?!?

A sunny day to celebrate Abby's preschool graduation!

Dirty faces that showcase the fun we have camping!

A daddy that is not afraid to get a little cold to spend time with his fearless swimmer!

A sunny day to watch my girly girl play outside with her doll!

Smiles of a happy girl!

The smile of achievement when she reeled in "the big one"!

Week 3

I did my part... my body did not. No change this week. Shedding a tear or 2 and eating a candy bar.